A long-term topic of discussion finally turned reality, this last Thursday, with the help of a few friends, we ravenously gorged on that beautiful meat sculpture known as a Turducken.
The true origin of the turducken is still up for debate, but despite which camp you belong to, I’m of a mind to believe that combining as many animals as possible into one roast is not a new idea. The evolution of the turducken can be traced back to early French and even Roman times, regardless, this entry will not be considered one of the 80 we are striving for, but merely a delicious curiosity piece.
Now before we go any further I have to admit that we cheated a little. I have never deboned anything in my life and didn’t want to make my first attempt while expecting a dozen guests for dinner. Still, even after having most of the work done for us, the preparation of our feast was not without a little excitement.
We stopped by our local Highland Park Market early in the afternoon and picked up a perfectly constructed fresh turducken from Bill the butcher, an absolute master of his craft. The 18-pound bird(s) came complete with apple cranberry cornbread stuffing and an aluminum roasting pan. Check. 
Once home we basted with a little oil, butter, garlic and other spices and popped the whole thing into the oven at 300 degrees. Check and check.As we busied ourselves with other preparations for the evening, I noticed a bit of smoke coming out of the oven. We investigated the source and found a small puddle of grease at the bottom of the oven. As Adam scraped it out I grumbled about messy roommates not cleaning up after themselves. After a touch more basting we put the bird(s) back in to cook.
We listened to the mouth-watering sound of the turducken cooking, sst sst sst, and waited for the rest of whatever had been smoking to burn off.
About an hour in, I realized the kitchen was filled up with even more smoke and we rushed in to find the oven on fire. We had already been cracking jokes about smoked turducken, but turducken flambé was no laughing matter! Thanks to his quick thinking, Adam was able to rescue the bird(s) from the burning oven and put out the fire with merely a spatula.
After running around the house opening doors and windows and turning off smoke detectors, we assessed the damage. The turducken was unscathed, but the now rather large puddle of grease in the oven was a cause for concern. That’s when we discovered that the delicious cooking noises we had been hearing was actually the sound of turducken juice falling on the heating coil and realized that the roasting pan had a small hole in the bottom.
I rushed out to buy another pan as firefighter Adam stood guard and soon we were back on track for the evening’s feast.
Once the danger was behind us we were able to devote our attentions to another pressing matter, the turducken shot.
Adam had the idea of creating a turducken inspired drink, similar in theory to a Three Wise Men shot. He picked up some Wild Turkey and a bottle of Fighting Cock bourbon, but then couldn’t find the missing duck component. We wracked our brains when finally he decided to try the one ingredient he could think of, duck sauce.
I admit I was skeptical looking at the bright yellow and very large bottle of Chinese duck sauce, but when mixed with the liquors and a splash of lemonade, we found it was not as disgusting as it sounded. When our guests started to arrive, so did the moment of truth. Would our adventures of the day show up in the flavors of the meat? Would anyone throw up after drinking a turducken shot? Would we be eating turducken sandwiches for a week?
We all lined up and piled our plates high. There was silence for a moment as we savored the first few bites. It was delicious.
There were no charred bits or ashy flavors as I had worried, rather the turducken was tender and juicy and the sweetness of the stuffing was a perfect compliment to the different meats. The fattiness of the duck, sandwiched between the two leaner birds, lent a lot of moisture without making the dish overly greasy. 
Everyone in attendance was a turducken first-timer and I think it safe to say that each of our guests is now a turducken convert. By the end of the night when our bellies were full, only the wings and a leg remained with a few scant bits of stuffing. Even the turducken shot was a success, although no one really went back for a second round, but at least everyone tried it and later praised Adam’s . . . creativity.
Maybe when Paul returns after his jaunt in New Zealand we will have another turducken feast, however, Bill the butcher did say he would be willing to stuff just about anything so maybe next time will be commemorated with something even more bizarre.
Bon voyage buddy.
No comments:
Post a Comment